Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
