My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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