I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
