is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
