Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
