If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
