Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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