I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
