I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
