WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize