This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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