i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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