Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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