Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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