Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
