does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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