Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
