I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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