And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
