Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
