Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
