Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
