Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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