Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize