I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
