he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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