covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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