i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
