How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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