is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
