Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
