so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
