I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Even my vagina gasped.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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