Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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