she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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