1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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