After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize