Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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