well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I had to cum in my sink.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize