Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
