My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
