They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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