belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
