He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
