dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
