Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
