I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize