Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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