Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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