i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
