guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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