I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
