My balls are so social today.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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