id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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