yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
