The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
