Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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