his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
