That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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