ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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