Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
