and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
