and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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