the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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