guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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