i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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