I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
be right there i have to get my cape
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
