I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
